Chris

I recently spent about two straight days dealing with the effects of the stomach flu. As a result, I ate next to nothing over the course of those two days. As I got my appetite back and felt good again, I realized I had one heck of a feast ahead of me so I could make up for not eating. I figured why not treat myself? So I did something I only do probably once every year at most. I decided to get something from Pizza Hut!

Of course, I was too fatigued from the stomach flu to look the number up and call them. I slouched in my chair at the computer and went to Pizza Hut’s website so I could browse the menu and see what they had. I know, I know, they have Pizza, duh. But I remember that every now and again they do these promotions where they cut the pizza into different shapes. I love square pizza and I’m always a sucker for pizza sticks. While perusing their website, I found that you could actually place an order online. And so, in what may go down as one of the most pathetic moments of my life, I actually got myself an online user ID at the Pizza Hut website. The most shocking part of this was learning that Pizza Hut actually requires you to have at least an 8-character password. 8 characters!? Am I ordering pizza or taking possession of top secret missile codes?

After setting up my account, the website informed that (surprise) they had a lot of pizza available for order. I noticed that they didn’t have any funny shapes, so I just got the old classic “Book-It” style Pan Pizza. I placed my order and it then took around 5 minutes for the site to actually “process” it. I kid you not, from the moment that I went to the website to the moment my order was processed, I could’ve called them and picked it up by then. But what’s done is done.

Then of course, I went to Pizza Hut to get it. The carry-out store is just about a mile or so from where I live, making the trip quick. “I’ll have my pizza in no time!”, I thought. But then when I got there, I ran into HIM. I don’t know if you’ve ever met HIM before, but HE is the guy who I’m ALWAYS BEHIND whenever I’m in line for something. You know the deal, you’ve got your crap together, you are just there to pick up and leave. But HIM? No, HE doesn’t even know what he wants. HE stands there in front of you ordering about 5 pizzas and changing his mind constantly and then while he’s being rung up, this doofus throws down like 15 freakin' coupons. And do you think those coupons scanned into the system? Ha! Of course not! The store employees ended up having to enter each one in by hand. I’m telling you, it’s unbelievable how often that stuff happens to me.

After fantasizing about burning a hole through that guy with lasers shooting from my eyes (what? I was bored), I ended up getting rung up separately. After all that though, my pizza was a great little treat to have after two days of eating nothing, and I lost 8 pounds to boot!

UPDATE: The day after I ate that pizza, I had probably the worst stabbing pains in my stomach that I've ever had. It was to the point that I left work, was doubled over, and immediately headed to the doctor. The acid from the sauce was not good on my stomach. A prescription of Aciphex cleared it up, but man was that painful. Lesson learned!