My Runaway Daughter ....

[Shane R. Monroe]

Well, you guys have repeatedly asked for more information ... Here you go ...

http://www.ac-web.org/forums/showpost.php?p=834301&postcount=29

Tragedy ...

Note: If it gets pulled, let me know ... I have the post captured.

[Chris]

Sorry to see this Shane. I'm sure it's rough on your family. What is particularly difficult to read is that he treats her like a dog. As a father, that must be heartbreaking.

On the bright side, you'll be a grandfather.

[Womp]

...to what I hope is a child adopted by parents who will love and properly raise him/her.

This is all very sad.

We can only pray that Robert gets hit by a bus, falls off a cliff, or eaten by cannibals or something.

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[Darksol]

How did you find this thread in the first place?

[Flare]

So I was talking with my wife about this over lunch...

Say Child Protective Services does step in and take away their kid once they see the life they're living.

Are the grandparents of the kid eligible to raise him/her? I remember in the movie The Blind Side, Sandra Bullock's character only had to talk to the agency to adopt Michael Oher, and there was nothing the mother could do about it. And how easy is it for Child Protective Services to remove the child? Is it a long process? Is the fact that he's a deadbeat with no job and a criminal record enough?

And Shane, if that's the case, would you and your wife be willing to do raise him? Is the douchebag's mother considering this as well? Maybe that way your daughter could finally see the light and come back to you.

I think that's the saddest part of this ordeal, the fact that a baby is about to be brought into a world that looks to be full of misery unless someone does the right thing.

[entexman]

I don't know how Shane deals with this crap. All I can say is hang in there man. I am sure you are in for some good luck soon considering all the bad luck you have had lately.

[Turbo2Xs]

That was painful to read. It must make you sick to your stomach reading what his mom said about your girl...

Ouch.

[TripHamer]

Yeah, that was horrible. Perhaps it's time to get a few of the boys, jump in a van, go to texas, grab her and bring her back! And if Robert get a few dents in the process....all the better.

[Chris]

Well, based on the IM transcript his mother posted in another thread today, Warface has now declared "war" on his mother. This means only more bad decisions are on the horizon of course.

[ChairoNoMe]

That was really upsetting. I'm so sorry Shane. The guy sounds like a complete douchebag.

Worst of all, he's every stereotype of a obsessed WOW gamer.

[TripHamer]

Well there's an image attached to the message in case anyone runs into them and.....I'll leave the rest to your imaginations.

[Womp]

I've come to the conclusion that WOW is a disease. It has absolutely no positive effects on anyone.

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[BurgerTyme]

This is really sad in so many ways. I just hope at some point your daughter will realize the wrong she has done and get her life together.

[AdamJury]

Damn, Shane, it must be so hard to see things laid out like this.

[Shane R. Monroe]

None of this shocks me, honestly. I mean, I didn't KNOW about a lot of it - but very little of it surprises me.

[merman1974]

It's a tough one, in many ways you have to let her make her own mistakes and learn about the world... but at the same time it must be heartbreaking to imagine what's she going through.

Child Services intervening could be for the best in this case.

Hang in there, Shane.

[joejet]

Dang Shane... sorry for the latest developments. It is amazing how many totally waste the gift of life they have been given. As people in less fortunate situations in the world struggle due to no fault of their own - we have a whole culture living here and just pissing it all away due to ignorance and plain stupidity.

[Shane R. Monroe]

Yeah, pretty damn tragic isn't it?

[DaMenace]

Shane, your daughter definitely deserves better..

[Nectar]

Seeing a mother talk trash about her own son on the internet is beyond lame. Surely this bitch is one of the reasons the guy grew up to be a loser.

[Womp]

Seeing a mother talk trash about her own son on the internet is beyond lame. Surely this bitch is one of the reasons the guy grew up to be a loser.

Exactly my thoughts....

Not to sound cliche but the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.


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[rush2112]

I agree with Nectars post. This Mom is no saint in all of this. It was very painful to read that post. Shows no class on her part to air out her laundry like that. Makes her look just as bad as the son. I can only pray that Shane's daughter comes to her senses and leave him. I would hope she would go home.

[TripHamer]

I can only pray that Shane's daughter comes to her senses and leave him. I would hope she would go home.

First love....usually the hardest to break. We can always hope for the best though.

[ChairoNoMe]

What i don't get is why she didn't leave him when she found out that he had HPV and gave it to her and didn't tell her BEFORE they had unprotected sex? Maybe it is like Stockholm Syndrome - i mean how do you stay with a guy that lies to you like that? She can get cervical cancer because of this guy's stupidity. I think he should be charged with a crime for doing that.

[moko]

This thing happending is reminding me of those talk shows from Jenny Jones like "My out of control daughter" storyline. Definitely seek counselling to work this thing out.

[WorknMan]

What i don't get is why she didn't leave him when she found out that he had HPV and gave it to her and didn't tell her BEFORE they had unprotected sex? Maybe it is like Stockholm Syndrome - i mean how do you stay with a guy that lies to you like that? She can get cervical cancer because of this guy's stupidity. I think he should be charged with a crime for doing that.

A lot of chicks will stay with guys that cheat on them and beat the sh*t out of them. Does this really surprise you that much?

This reminds me of the time I got a call from an ex-gf (we'd already broken up when this happened), who said she had tested positive for HPV. I didn't even know what it was and apparently, it's not something that guys can get tested for, unless they have warts, or some other side effect of the disease. Since I was only the second guy she'd been with, and I've shagged more chicks than I can count on 10 fingers and toes, we're pretty sure who gave it to whom. I felt really bad about it too, but luckily, it wasn't the kind that causes cancer. Since I was pretty up front about my sexual exploits and didn't lie to her about anything, she was not mad at me.

[DaMenace]

The mother does indeed sound like a terrible person, in fact it all reminds me quite a bit of the way my stepmother who treated me terribly (she's in jail now if no one saw the prior news link I shared).
Definitely a contributing factor to this guy's problems..

[Rocky1980]

Sad just so sad :(

[Shane R. Monroe]

I have more updates .... PSR, coming soon.

[Womp]

My wife was asking me last night WTF the new show was. She was actually annoyed.

Gen Gimme at its finest. ::: sigh :::

[TechMaster]

My wife was asking me last night WTF the new show was. She was actually annoyed.

Gen Gimme at its finest. ::: sigh :::

Along those lines, Where's that MGC podcast promised a week or so ago! Dam slackers! ;) :p

[TheAlien]

My wife was asking me last night WTF the new show was. She was actually annoyed.

Gen Gimme at its finest. ::: sigh :::

I have to ask, please forgive me if it sounds insensative.

Why on earth would you make a podcast about something so private and personal? Although I understand sharing this with your friends, even the long distance ones on here. But this is open to everyone and anyone who wants to read or listen. Frankly, although on a personal level I wish there was something I could do to help or make you feel better (as any friend would), as a forum member I think it's extremely inappropriate. I have to go with your wife on this one. And it has nothing to do with Gen Gimme.

Again, I'm sorry, but I thought I had to say something.

[Womp]

I have to ask, please forgive me if it sounds insensative.

Why on earth would you make a podcast about something so private and personal? Although I understand sharing this with your friends, even the long distance ones on here. But this is open to everyone and anyone who wants to read or listen. Frankly, although on a personal level I wish there was something I could do to help or make you feel better (as any friend would), as a forum member I think it's extremely inappropriate. I have to go with your wife on this one. And it has nothing to do with Gen Gimme.

Again, I'm sorry, but I thought I had to say something.

Heh, I think you missed the point of my post dude. My wife is a huge fan of Shane's PSR shows and has been listening for well over a year now on her iPod. She has been asking me for the past few weeks when a new one will arrive since he hasn't had one for well over a month and because she loves listening to them on her way to work in the morning.

The Gen Gimme thing was just a joke because she has been very demanding this week. :)

[TheAlien]

Actually, most of that post was aimed at Shane. Just used yours as a jumping point and addressed it at the end. my bad

[wildo2ne]

I have to ask, please forgive me if it sounds insensative.

Why on earth would you make a podcast about something so private and personal? Although I understand sharing this with your friends, even the long distance ones on here. But this is open to everyone and anyone who wants to read or listen. Frankly, although on a personal level I wish there was something I could do to help or make you feel better (as any friend would), as a forum member I think it's extremely inappropriate. I have to go with your wife on this one. And it has nothing to do with Gen Gimme.

Again, I'm sorry, but I thought I had to say something.


Well Shane answered this in his first podcast about this issue and he had mention that "when your tapped into a persons life it is not all fun and jokes, sometimes bad things happen and you have to tell those also. My only hope is that someone will learn from my misfortune."

He had the same attitude after getting robbed, from what I have learned from spending time with him at the Monroeapalooza events is that he is a very open person who wants to share not so people will feel sorry for him but so that he might be able to teach others where he might have gone wrong so others don't make the same mistakes.

I am sure he will chime in on this and elaborate further when he gets a moment but this is what I had learned from the man, the myth, and the legend.

oh and btw Keep it Retro!!!

[Shane R. Monroe]

Pretty much right on the ball, there. Not sure what I can add to that :)

[TheAlien]

Yeah, but I don't see the need to be THAT tapped into your life, your wife's life, your daughter's life, your other's family life. Sharing experiences with friends is one thing, sharing personal information that's not just yours, but your whole family's, with the world is a bit much. But hey, Shane's choice. I was just commenting. No harm intended.

[Tally]

People can become whatever they want.
Heck sometimes people are lucky there daughter or son doesn't become a Serial Killer.

Evil just exists - but people have a choice sometimes they make the wrong choices.

[TripHamer]

It's not uncommon for radio personalities to share some of their life events with their listeners. So this is no different. Obviously you got to draw the line somewhere. However, it is a story of interest and sometimes some kind words, even from strangers even, can help in such situations.

Just some thoughts.

[Shane R. Monroe]

Oh, don't worry ... I don't talk about EVERYTHING.

[wildo2ne]

Oh, don't worry ... I don't talk about EVERYTHING.

Yeah he only talks about the stuff that the masses would find interesting, you know the Jerry Springer stuff............jk

[Chadster]

Oh, don't worry ... I don't talk about EVERYTHING.
At least until viewership drops off, then it's "Passenger Seat Radio: In The Sack(tm) Edition" :p

[Shane R. Monroe]

Believe me, if viewership mattered, I'd have hung the shingle up ages ago :)

Nah, there are things that are "untouchable" publically. But, sure - some of the white trash stuff has to come out (my runaway daughter is headed for a single wide, 10 kids, 3 dogs and a moonshine still). Plus, if you had told me one year ago that my eldest daughter would be knocked up, shacked up living with WOW buddies with a convicted felon that hasn't worked an honest day in the last year - I would have said you were crazy.

Yes, it CAN happen to you.

[Womp]

Aren't we already approaching the one year anniversary or her Exodus?

[Shane R. Monroe]

Yes.... yes we are. She was 18 on June 19th. Her one eyed flipper baby is due in 3 weeks. She was out about two weeks after she was legal to run away and not be required b law to come back.

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[Chadster]

I remember coming back from vacation in July last year and thinking "Hmm, I wonder what I missed on Monroeworld while I was awa- Oh jesus!"

[Turbo2Xs]

Yes, it CAN happen to you.

I rather doubt that as I have no kids:

Given kids or all the niceties of life (the cars, fine dining, expensive toys, women, freedom, adventure, self-gratification on demand, etc. al.) --I find anything any potential child I'd spawn would be limited by the inevitable fight against societies decline (despite the pedigree!).

I don't like to lose in that way. ;)

In the idea world, I'd teach him/her the finer arts of things like self education, work ethic, morals and (unlike myself, and the only thing I'd try to 'FIX' compared to myself) motivation to play certain games.

Motivation in the form of things like: playing 'the game' to get ahead.

I frankly care little about that as my feeling of well being doesn't particularly hinge upon what the general consensus thinks... especially when we know I'm better.

I'm largely indifferent.

Thusly, I'd rather grieve the loss of my current Infiniti or my former Stealth R/T Twin Turbo, my future Ferrari 355 or pretty much anything I can REBUY later.

Now, you're thinking I'm a selfish bastard (and I AM a bastard [literally]) yet, who more selfish?


Selfish me who is only responsible for me?

Breeders who can't control their... uh... 'purchases" [you must admit, it was a form of purchase/lease]?


:D

[TheAlien]

Her one eyed flipper baby is due in 3 weeks.

Hmmmm. Odd way to refer to your grandchild. Perhaps this may explain some of the reasons behind the exodus? Even more telling that you would think your grandchild would be a one eyed flipper baby. I really don't want to comment any further since it may involve bringing your parenting skills into question. I don't want to do that. There's always more than one place to put blame in these kinds of situations. Kids don't just decide to run away unless they feel they have something to run away from. I mean, I did, and I DID.

[TripHamer]

Technically, being 18, she left.........Not really a runaway situation. Sneaking out like she did just means she knows her parents wouldn't approve of her decision. The choices we make.......At some point, she's going to start relying on what her parents taught. I wouldn't be surprised if just after having the baby, she wants to come back home.

[WorknMan]

I figure she's the kind of girl who had never been kissed in high school (based on what Shane said), and probably didn't get much (if any) attention from boys. So when this guy (I'm using the term loosely) came along and showed some sort of interest in her, it's easy to see why she split. I mean, when your self-esteem is at rock-bottom, anything is better than being alone. It's the same sort of situation where you see women keep going back to guys who constantly abuse and/or beat the sh!t out of them, and vice versa for guys who will put up with the worst of female behavior. 'Well, I'm obviously incapable of getting anything better ...'

Of course, I don't know her, so this is pure conjecture on my part.

[Womp]

Hmmmm. Odd way to refer to your grandchild. Perhaps this may explain some of the reasons behind the exodus? Even more telling that you would think your grandchild would be a one eyed flipper baby.

Granted flipper baby may have been a bit much, have you seen the father? I think that is more to what he is referencing. We will be lucky if this kid comes out even remotely normal.

[Flare]

Shane, was she the one who appeared in the second live taping of Retrogaming Radio back back in 1999?

I remember you had your daughter there while were at IRC listening to the live broadcast of the show.

[Chris]

I rather doubt that as I have no kids:

Given kids or all the niceties of life (the cars, fine dining, expensive toys, women, freedom, adventure, self-gratification on demand, etc. al.) --I find anything any potential child I'd spawn would be limited by the inevitable fight against societies decline (despite the pedigree!).

I don't like to lose in that way. ;)

In the idea world, I'd teach him/her the finer arts of things like self education, work ethic, morals and (unlike myself, and the only thing I'd try to 'FIX' compared to myself) motivation to play certain games.

Motivation in the form of things like: playing 'the game' to get ahead.

I frankly care little about that as my feeling of well being doesn't particularly hinge upon what the general consensus thinks... especially when we know I'm better.

I'm largely indifferent.

Thusly, I'd rather grieve the loss of my current Infiniti or my former Stealth R/T Twin Turbo, my future Ferrari 355 or pretty much anything I can REBUY later.

Now, you're thinking I'm a selfish bastard (and I AM a bastard [literally]) yet, who more selfish?


Selfish me who is only responsible for me?

Breeders who can't control their... uh... 'purchases" [you must admit, it was a form of purchase/lease]?


:D

Ironically, it would seem that the decline of society is due to self-absorption and materialism, something that you seem to be all too familiar with. So ironic!

[Shane R. Monroe]

Technically, being 18, she left.........Not really a runaway situation. Sneaking out like she did just means she knows her parents wouldn't approve of her decision. The choices we make.......At some point, she's going to start relying on what her parents taught. I wouldn't be surprised if just after having the baby, she wants to come back home.

Well .. technically - when you crawl out your bedroom window in the dead of the night ... steal $200 from your shared bank account ... leaving a note ... I'd call that "running away" - not "leaving". But it's all semantics ... When it's someone else's 18 year old daughter - it's "leaving" ... when it's your own ... It's "running away". Just a matter of perspective.


I figure she's the kind of girl who had never been kissed in high school (based on what Shane said), and probably didn't get much (if any) attention from boys. So when this guy (I'm using the term loosely) came along and showed some sort of interest in her, it's easy to see why she split. Of course, I don't know her, so this is pure conjecture on my part.

The problem is that there were plenty of opportunities for her - she botched most of them - for one way or another.

She's reasonably attractive - she could have gotten cock RIGHT HERE in Phoenix. She could have gotten cock from a non convicted felon. She could have gotten cock from someone with SOME future ahead. She could have gotten cock from someone who is NOT a drug user. Plenty of cock and attention could be had ... RIGHT HERE. Hell across town .. whatever.

But no - she had to make EVERY SINGLE POSSIBLE BAD CHOICE in this scenario. Which (btw, TheAlien - isn't the result of MY parenting) is what makes this so disappointing.


Granted flipper baby may have been a bit much, have you seen the father? I think that is more to what he is referencing. We will be lucky if this kid comes out even remotely normal.

Right ... habitual drug user ... IQ roughly his shoe size. Serious anger issues. Criminal record. This baby doesn't have a chance in hell - unless a well-placed call to social services gets made, that is.


Shane, was she the one who appeared in the second live taping of Retrogaming Radio back back in 1999? I remember you had your daughter there while were at IRC listening to the live broadcast of the show.

Must've been. Chrysania wasn't living with us then.

[BurgerTyme]

This baby doesn't have a chance in hell - unless a well-placed call to social services gets made, that is.

Sounds like the best thing that could happen in this situation.

[Nectar]

I find anything any potential child I'd spawn would be limited by the inevitable fight against societies decline (despite the pedigree!).

Ironically, it would seem that the decline of society is due to self-absorption and materialism, something that you seem to be all too familiar with. So ironic!

Perhaps everyone making life worse for everyone else out of the misbegotten believe that society is declining is the real reason why society is declining. Maybe society would be fine if everyone would just let everything be (but there's no fun in that, I suppose).

[TheAlien]

I'm actually gonna have to agree with ya on that one.

[Turbo2Xs]

I'm actually gonna have to agree with ya on that one.

All he said was what Chris said so no points for subtle plagiarism, m'kay! :D

To that effect Chris, it's NOT a matter of being materialistic as much as setting boundaries. Truth is, I'm a very generous person even when given low resources --the fact that I do currently is viewed by me no more significant than any other tool I might wield, such as a hammer or a gun to make my life more pleasant.

Thus, it's not a matter of me aiding the decline of society, in fact, it's quite the opposite as many Democrats refuse to believe: If you know someone with money and is generous (and there are many), it should be an aspirational thing and not a hater thing!

I try to bring people UP to my level or beyond via my story (I've been more needy that probably most people here in the past).

Still, with kids, it's a gamble I'm not sure I want to take anytime soon...

PS:
If some of this doesn't make sense; blame TheAlien for his incessant IMs about Batman: AA [and how I rule!!]

[TheAlien]

Um, I have no idea what you were trying to get at, so allow me this. I agreed that " society would be fine if everyone would just let everything be ". What the heck that has to do with your post completely alludes me. Um, so, have fun with that.

No points given. Placing blame, not allowed. Laughing loudy.:p

[Turbo2Xs]

*pffft*

You WOULD say that after the sound thrashing I gave you above!

A winner is me!

[Tally]

well ill play devil advocate by saying. This is a huge If.. maybe you can bring this up to her next time you talk on the phone with her.. Shane.

What if you weren't so controlling of her actions or forcefully monitored her 24/7 and let her have privacy. Lets say you let her figure things out on her own. Let her make bad choices at her age. Then maybe she wouldn't have run off. Maybe if you weren't trying to control her life up to the age of 16. Give her some free room to explore like most of my family and friends family did, we were just given advice and my parents had faith in me to learn to make the right choice. If we made the right choices we were rewarded for them!
But if your forced into having to make the correct choices all the time with no reward - then you don't learn anything.
Maybe she would have not run off, if you used that system.

Again ask her about that scenario or question - I am willing to bet she would had said "I would have stayed".

[alexjlopez]

well ill play devil advocate by saying. This is a huge If.. maybe you can bring this up to her next time you talk on the phone with her.. Shane.

What if you weren't so controlling of her actions or forcefully monitored her 24/7 and let her have privacy. Lets say you let her figure things out on her own. Let her make bad choices at her age. Then maybe she wouldn't have run off. Maybe if you weren't trying to control her life up to the age of 16. Give her some free room to explore like most of my family and friends family did, we were just given advice and my parents had faith in me to learn to make the right choice. If we made the right choices we were rewarded for them!
But if your forced into having to make the correct choices all the time with no reward - then you don't learn anything.
Maybe she would have not run off, if you used that system.

Again ask her about that scenario or question - I am willing to bet she would had said "I would have stayed".

People who have never raised a child (like me) should probably not dispense parenting advice.

[Shane R. Monroe]

Tally, you're about to enjoy another ban. You are in ZERO position to offer any sort of input.

Surely a Halo thread requires your attention somewhere.

[Asuran]

I'm sorry to hear about your troubles and hope that at some point in the future everything works out well.

I am not going to say anything else as what I would type might be hurtful to some ppl and I know from experience that sometimes it's good to just keep things to myself.

[wildo2ne]

well ill play devil advocate by saying. This is a huge If.. maybe you can bring this up to her next time you talk on the phone with her.. Shane.

What if you weren't so controlling of her actions or forcefully monitored her 24/7 and let her have privacy. Lets say you let her figure things out on her own. Let her make bad choices at her age. Then maybe she wouldn't have run off. Maybe if you weren't trying to control her life up to the age of 16. Give her some free room to explore like most of my family and friends family did, we were just given advice and my parents had faith in me to learn to make the right choice. If we made the right choices we were rewarded for them!
But if your forced into having to make the correct choices all the time with no reward - then you don't learn anything.
Maybe she would have not run off, if you used that system.

Again ask her about that scenario or question - I am willing to bet she would had said "I would have stayed".


its easy to say what Shane should have done with hindsight but as I have been told by my family over and over is that there is no instruction manual for parenting, you do the best you can and with a little bit of luck hopefully your kids turn out ok. I don't think it is right to point the finger at Shane and say it is your fault, he did what he thought was best for his kids, at the end of the day eventually we make our own choices and it this situation since she is 18 I would have to say she has to look at what she has done and realize that she made a conscious decision, and now she either has to live with it or do what she must to make things right again.

[Nectar]

No one likes to get accused of being a bad parent but this is an open thread.

[Shane R. Monroe]

That's fine - but Tally is talking out of his ass. He doesn't have enough information to even suggest what he's saying - that's the part that rubs me wrong.

[WorknMan]

The question is, if he and his wife had raised her differently, would she have made a different choice, or gone down the same path? Since we can never know for sure, I'm not sure it's worth even speculating about. Maybe they were too strict, or maybe they weren't strict enough. Maybe they zigged when they should've zagged. I'm sure everybody and their grandma has an opinion on this, but who really knows?

[Womp]

Your daughter sneaking out her bedroom window during the night is reminiscent of Halo 3 when Master Chief narrowly escaped a horde of Flood by crawling into a ventilation shaft.

[TripHamer]

I would think that since at 18 she probably has never been kissed is a testament to Shane's parenting abilities. Especially in this day and age. From what Shane said about her publicly, it didn't sound like you wanted to give her too much slack all at once. But a tiny bit at a time till she's functioning on her own properly.

But of course, it's easy to armchair quarterback....especially with 20/20 hind site.

[Shane R. Monroe]

We tried to give her slack. She didn't take it. Shrug.

Right now, I don't feel we did anything wrong - including using hindsight.

[wildo2ne]

To wit[?] I'VE been banned before, it was for the protection of the forum as a whole (in that I INDIRECTLY [and in jest to be fair: you believe me right Shane? :)] called out moderators for not doing their job), Tally sited the forum rules against harassment and a thread calling him out IS harassment.

The Tally thread was my doing Turbo, I wanted to take some of the pressure off of the situation for Shane and his family, was it wrong probably but would I do it again to help a friend absolutely.